They say that patience is a virtue - and that is certainly the case when it comes to foreplay. Skipping this part of sexual intimacy and moving straight to the main event means missing out on one of the most exciting parts of sexual intimacy. And there’s bad news if you are with a lady and neglecting foreplay. Chances are, you are drastically reducing her chances of achieving orgasm. So before we get to some great foreplay tips for men, let’s take a closer look at the female orgasm. The more you know about female arousal the more likely you are to be great in bed – so bare with me.
Foreplay Is Necessary (!)
Our first foreplay tip for men is to understand that foreplay is 100% necessary for female orgasm.
Foreplay has a lot going for it. You get to know your partner's body, communication is enhanced, and it feels great while simultaneously increasing excitement in anticipation of the main event.
That last point about increasing excitement is important.
It’s not only about the thrill and the fact that foreplay feels incredible, it also causes physiological changes in a woman’s body that make attaining orgasm easier. For women, that build-up you can create during foreplay will be the reason she actually orgasms during penetration.
It’s all about blood flow.
When you are turning her on (perhaps achieving her first orgasm) her vulva and vagina are becoming erect and full of blood. Yes erect. This is necessary for almost every woman to orgasm.
Sorry to say, but without foreplay, penetration doesn’t feel all that great. Ladies need that blood flow to make that internal structure of the clitoris and g-post sensitive to stimulation.
There's An Orgasm Gap In A Lot Of Bedrooms
Men tend to orgasm during penetrative sex a lot more often than women - and there’s a reason for that.
Women tend to require some pregaming foreplay with a partner in order to orgasm during penetrative sex. Research reports that straight women reached orgasm 65% of the time during partnered sex while straight men reached orgasm 95% of the time. During first-time heterosexual hookups, women report reaching climax only 7% of the time.
That disparity between the female and male orgasm is called the ‘orgasm gap’ by sex researchers.
That same research theorizes that women will be far more likely to orgasm when clitoral stimulation is part of the experience.
Fortunately, the ladies and gentlemen at BerryLemon have some hints and tips that will help you help her hit the high notes.
Foreplay Starts Outside The Bedroom
Female arousal is often about context. Arousal happens in the brain first. So foreplay starts before you guys get hot and heavy.
Romance and setting the mood are as important as that superstar aftershave and a winning smile.
Getting in the mood is part and parcel of the journey towards mind blowing sex. Taking our time, paying some attention to a great playlist and getting the lighting just right (candles are a winner every time), as well as perhaps taking the lady for a great meal and ordering a lovely bottle of wine are all steps in the right direction - that direction being the bedroom door.
And remember this - the most important sex organ isn’t in your pants, it’s between your ears. Listen carefully to your partner, don’t interrupt, but be willing to keep that conversation going. Ask about her day, interests, dreams, wants, and needs. Incorporate loving touches during the day.
Always remember that mental stimulation is just as important as physical stimulation.
Exploring The All-Important Erogenous Zones
When it comes to foreplay, a basic knowledge of erogenous zones will provide great rewards.
Erogenous zones are defined as “any part of the body that can trigger sexual arousal when touched.” These areas are pleasure centers. Foreplay heaven.
As you will see from this simplified erogenous zones map, there are many sensitive spots on the female body. And each one may call for licks, tickles, soft touches, nibbles, sucking or massage.
If there is one Golden rule, it is to take it slow. Slow and steady wins the race. (unless of course she's asking for more, more more.)
Lose yourself in the moment, and you will quickly find that foreplay can rival the pleasures of penetrative sex.
It’s worth repeating that communication is key to exploring the heights of sexual pleasure, both during foreplay and when taking the next step. Listen to the significant other in your life. Each individual will find some stimulation exciting, while others may find it uncomfortable. When in doubt, ask if something feels good, and pay attention to the answer.
Exploring The Clitoris and G-Spot
Most men seem to regard the clitoris as some sort of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, able to magically provide women with instant gratification.
That’s not quite true.
The clitoris is packed with nerves, well over 10,000 of them, so a little care before leaping at your lady’s love nubbin is highly recommended. The clitoris is only part of the puzzle of female orgasm, but when treated right, it can set your world (and hers) on fire.
The clitoris can be found near the top of the vulva and is covered by what is known as the ‘clitoral hood’. Once your female partner begins to become more and more aroused the clitoral hood will draw back, and the clitoris will become erect. Take it slow and touch/massage the clit gently, sucking and even a (geeeentle) nibble can do wonders.
Clit Foreplay Tip: Work From The Outside In
During foreplay, it’s a good idea to start broad and then work your way in. In other words, start touching and kissing her thighs, then edge in closer to her inner thighs, slightly brushing and grazing her vulva. Then get closer and closer to her clitoris, moving from indirect to direct stimulation. This teasing will offer her a great build-up in arousal. She’ll be begging you for more.
Foreplay Clit Stimulation Techniques
Once she’s warmed up and ready for more, give her some direct clit stimulation. Don’t opt for speed and pressure like a jackhammer. Start stimulating and then watch her reaction. Her body will speak to you (or she will) and tell you if she’s enjoying it.
Here are 3 approaches to clitoral stimulation that have stood the test of time - make sure that they are in your foreplay playbook:
The Circle: Use a finger to slowly trace circles around the clit and hood, and once again, vary speed and listen to your partner.
The Rub: Use your hand, fingers, or a sex toy (more on that later) to slide back and forth (or up and down) across the clit and clitoral hood.
The Tap: Gently tap the clit and hood, varying the speed in line with your partner’s feedback.
A word on tempo: You want to stay consistent but work up your speed as she gets closer and closer to orgasm. If you want to offer her a powertrip climax, use a vibrator!
The G-spot can be found inside the vagina and is another area incredibly rich in nerve endings. The G-Spot is approximately two inches up from the pubic bone on the inner upper wall of the vagina.
To stimulate the G-spot, gently slide your finger inside your partner’s vagina with your palm facing up, then curl your finger up toward her belly. A gentle ‘come hither’ motion is an extremely effective method of stimulating the G-Spot.
Be warned that this area is incredibly sensitive - and some women find stimulation uncomfortable. Take it slow and keep up the communication with your partner. If she says it’s uncomfortable, stop - that’s a good rule for both foreplay and penetrative sexual activities.
G-Spot Foreplay Tip: The G-spot is easiest to find when she is turned on. The area will be full of blood and very sensitive.
Vibrators & Magical Foreplay
Investing in a great quality vibrator can supercharge your foreplay. Your choice will depend on tastes and what sort of stimulation your partner enjoys. There are a variety of models on the market and each brings something unique to the foreplay party.
There are tried-and-proven bullet vibrators like the ever-powerful Bewitch’d cordless wand massager. This is a hell of a trusty vibrator, 100% guaranteed to offer orgasmic foreplay. (Follow up with penetrative sex and she’ll experience at least two orgasms that night! You fuckin’ legend.)
If you want to include sex toys in your foreplay (and if not, why not?), then visit the BerryLemon Pleasure Collection. Find something that catches your eye and excites your imagination, and we’ll ship it (discreetly) to your door.
Keep in mind that vibrating toys can serve a dual purpose. Apply some lube to your significant other’s back and treat her to a relaxing massage - it’ll get you both in the mood.
No guide to foreplay, no matter how brief, would be complete without foreplay tips for men that emphasize the importance of preparedness.
One of the purposes of foreplay is to get the juices flowing, but when it comes to using toys in the bedroom and the act of penetration, a good quality water-based lube is always welcome.
Any slip and slide from lubricants will enhance any and all stimulation. Of course ask her if she’s interested, it could be a fun ‘experiment’. Our money is on any foreplay stimulation being enhanced!
Any sexual experience will involve all your senses - if you are doing it right. Each and every one of our senses should be fully engaged when we are with a significant other. Sound, taste, smell, and touch are all part of an exquisite sexual experience.
See to your grooming, have a shave, or tidy up that sexy beard. A dab of aftershave never hurt, in short, make sure that you are presentable and a delight to the senses.
Taking a shower before leaping into bed is not only necessary, but it will enhance your experience. And remember, showering together may be part and parcel of foreplay. There’s nothing like getting slippery and wet to get everyone in the mood.
Foreplay Tips for Men - The Truth
There are very few women who want to jump straight into bed. And there are even fewer that will want to skip over foreplay. Doing so will impact your enjoyment of physical intimacy, and there’s every chance she’s not going to be ‘ready’ Then there’s the decreased likelihood of her cumming if time isn't set aside for foreplay.
In a nutshell, foreplay is fun and exciting. It adds to an experience that, if done right, will provide you with a warm fuzzy glow each time you travel down memory lane.
If there are any golden rules when talking about foreplay tips for men, it’s these. Take it slow, talk and relax, both for your sake and your partner’s enjoyment and satisfaction. Do what comes naturally, but take your time doing it.