We’ve been shakin’ it like a salt shaker, honky tonkin’ our badonkadonks, and wearing apple-bottom jeans since the dawn of time, and all these songs refer to something we all have in common as humans: butts. Even though we all have butts, we aren’t all up to date on the proper procedures for how to prepare for anal sex.
In this article, a certified sexologist will detail how to prepare for anal sex.
Article Written By: Gillian (Gigi) Singer, MPH, Board Certified Sexologist & Sexuality Educator
Preparing for Anal Sex by Common Concern
Common concerns about anal sex concern the 3 Ps of anal sex: pain, poop, and pleasure.
It’s completely normal to be concerned or nervous about sex or certain sex acts, especially if you’ve never done them before. The unknown is unnerving!
I’m going to walk you through how to prepare for anal sex according to the 3 Ps (pain, poop, and pleasure) because I want to alleviate your worry and assure you that you can participate in anal play safely and comfortably.
Let’s start at the top (or bottom, rather).
Booty Burden #1: Pain
You may feel a bit of discomfort at first during anal sex, but if you experience pain, stop immediately. Pain is your body’s way of telling you that something is wrong, your job is to just listen.
To prevent pain and discomfort during anal play, I recommend anal training, lots of lubricant, and even more communication.
We don’t wake up one day and decide to run a marathon – it takes preparation to accomplish your goal. Anal play is no different because it is also working out specific muscles to train them to accommodate penetration.
Anal training prevents irritation and tearing of anal tissues (fissures) and more. Additionally, preventing tissue injuries makes anal sex safer and reduces the likelihood of STI/STD transmission.
Anal training can include anal massage, analingus (aka rimming), and almost always includes an anal training set.
Consider an anal training set
These sets come with a couple of anal plugs that start off small and gradually get larger. The sphincter will learn to relax to accommodate the inserted plug – that’s why you start small. Use lots and lots of lube.
Consider an anal massage
Massages relax muscles, independent of where on your body they are. Anal massage can be done externally and internally and can be very pleasurable in itself. Use tons of lube.
You simply have to move at your own pace when it comes to anal training and play. Rushing the process can result in some pretty uncomfy consequences. Your body will communicate what it needs to you, and in turn, you have to communicate what you need from your partner (and ask what they need from you).
Use lots and lots lubricant
Lube is your best friend. It makes everything more comfortable and pleasurable. The best lubricants for anal play are ones with thick formulas – the density of the lube helps to protect anal tissues.
Try numbing Agents
Analgesics are found in some sprays and lubes made for anal play to relieve discomfort, however, I tend to recommend against numbing agents because pain is your sign to stop and reevaluate. Instead, look for lubricants that contain aloe vera (to soothe) or CBD (to bring blood to the tissues and help them relax).
Booty Burden #2: Poop
Let's talk about poop.
Anal sex actually takes place in the rectum. Poop doesn't tend to hang out here unless a bowel movement is on the way. However, there are times of incomplete emptying when fecal matter is not all "flushed" out. So after going to the bathroom there may still be some poop particles in the rectum.
This is why emptying your bowels or considering an enema is useful when preparing for anal sex. Doing so reduces the chances that you or your partner will be exposed to any fecal matter.
However, B-Vibe says “While the anal hygiene tips... will reduce the chances of accidents, they can still happen, so it’s best to be realistic about that.”
The following are hygiene and diet practices that can help you prepare for anal sex as best as possible.
Hygiene for preparing for anal sex
-Common practices for preparing for anal sex include showering (lather up your butt crack with a gentle body wash).
-Often folks use an enema or douche to prepare for anal sex. An enema is commonly done "1 to 2 hours before anal play".
-To assist fast clean up you can also use finger cots or gloves when doing anal massage or fingering. You can even throw a condom over an anal sex toy for quick clean up.
-Also consider keeping a towel near by, or body safe wet-wipes.
A healthy diet with proper amounts of protein and fiber will do wonders for your digestive health and help your poop schedule.
“Protein hardens up the poop, but fiber makes it so that it’s not as challenging to push out. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts are all excellent sources of fiber. Avoid coffee, caffeinated drinks, or drinking an excessive amount of alcohol. Water is your best friend and will help keep your bowel movements regular,” says B-Vibe.
When you’re preparing for anal sex, you might want to avoid foods that make you gassy or irritate your stomach.
Booty Burden 3: Pleasure
Now you know how to physically prepare for anal sex, let's prepare your pleasure expectations.
You may be wondering what anal sex feels like.
Well, it depends on your anatomy. For biological males, anal sex can stimulate the prostate gland. This can be very pleasurable.
Read More: What Does A Prostate Orgasm Feel Like?
But it can be pleasurable for ladies too! For biological females, there is no prostate in the rectum however, anal penetration can stimulate the vaginal canal and nerve endings connected to the clitoris.
Yup! Anal sex may stimulate the clit.
There is an internal structure to the clitoris that extends all the way to the anus. This is one reason why lots of ladies enjoy double penetration.
If you're feeling nervous
To test things out it's a good idea to try anal self-stimulation first to get a feel for this type of pleasure. (Try inserting lubed fingers or anal sex toys with lots of lube and go slow.)
Maybe take the enema for a test run before you prepare for anal sex with a partner. This can ease a bit of the pressure.
Remember to communicate with your partner. And remember there is a difference between first time discomfort and pain. Don't push through pain.
In Summary: How To Prepare For Anal Sex
We didn't learn how to prepare for anal sex in our sex education classes, that's for sure! And when you're new to anal sex there's a lot to consider.
The general rule of thumb for anal sex prep is:
3. Enema or douche (but it's up to you on this one)
4. Partner communication
5. Consider your clean-up plan
6. Lube up, go slow