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Welcome to your crash course on how to use a prostate massager for beginners. We’re so happy you’re here. In this article, we will highlight everything you need to know about accessing prostate pleasure with tailored sex toys for men.  

All too often, the sexual pleasures of the prostate are ignored. But this mighty pleasure point promises full-body, out-of-this-world orgasms that just don’t compare to penile orgasms. 

If you’re ready to unlock this wealth of untapped orgasmic bliss – read on. Let’s get into how to use a prostate massager. 

(If you know a fair bit about prostate pleasure, skip down below to the step-by-step section.)

Prostate 101 

The prostate gland has a few jobs in the biologically male body. For our purposes, we’re going to discuss the pleasure functions of this walnut-sized gland. 

When you think of how to approach prostate play or “prostate milking” you can simply think of it as tapping into a pleasurable pressure point. 

There is a cluster of pleasure-inducing nerve endings that surround the prostate. It's found about 2 inches into the rectum on the upper wall. 

This is THE spot. 

When this point is stimulated with gentle pressure – it feels ah-mazing. 

Read more: Yes, The Male G-Spot Is Real & This Is How To Find It

Prostate toys are specifically designed to press against the prostate with gentle but delicious pressure and vibration.  

Prostate pleasure: Sex toys for men 101

When you’re learning how to use a prostate massager, it’s good to know what spots you’re stimulating and why. 

The prostate can be stimulated internally (via the anus) or externally (via the taint). Internal direct stimulation is the most intense form of prostate massage. Pressing against the perineum (or taint) offers a more mild sensation. 

But when you combine the two you can really access your fullest pleasure potential. Some men say prostate orgasms are “full-bodied” and “absolutely euphoric” with zero refractory period.

Accessing this pleasure point with your fingers is hard, and for some impossible, to do. Prostate massagers, anal toys, and vibrators for men make it far easier.   

What to know about prostate massagers 

Here are some quick tips for what to look for in a prostate massager. 

It’s ALL about the curve

You’ll notice that prostate massagers all have a bit of a curve to the tip of the toy. This is because the prostate sits on the upper wall of the upper rectum wall, toward your belly button. So the curve of the toy pinpoints the prostate and applies direct pressure. 

Without the curve, you won’t get direct stimulation.

Butt plugs are fun but often don’t stimulate the prostate well

Butt plugs are a fan fave but it’s important to know that unless the butt plug is curved and girthy, it’s not going to be a great prostate stimulator. It does, however, offer more indirect stimulation which still feels great.

Some get butt plugs and prostate massagers confused and are disappointed by butt plugs. But, they are just 2 different types of (great) stimulation. 

Consider massager size 

For anal play, it’s best to stay in the realm of 4 to 8 inches of insertable length. A good middle ground is 5 inches long and 1.25 inches wide.

All prostate toys should have a flared base 

The necessary flared base is two-fold: to ensure safe use and to include perineum stimulation. 

Toys without a flared base, like a vaginal dildo, can get stuck in the rectum and result in an unpleasant ER visit. Unlike a vagina, the anus isn’t a closed shop and doesn’t really have an end in sight. So choose toys thoughtfully. 

Prostate massager must-haves and bonus features

How to use a prostate massager: step by step 

Come on, come on, let’s get to the good stuff! 

Now that you’re well-acquainted with prostate massagers and prostate pleasure, let’s get into how to use a prostate massager, step-by-step.

 #1 Make sure your toy is clean

We all know what goes on through the back door. So, since the rectum can be an area containing bacteria, it’s anal play best practice to keep anal toys super clean. If constantly cleaning it is a pain, put a condom over the toy for quick clean-up. 

Regardless though, make sure your anal toys and fingers are sanitized before using.  

#2 Get warmed up with penis play 

Before jumping into using the prostate massager, get warmed up first with some penis stimulation. 

Perhaps watch something sexy, begin by stroking your penis, or balls to get aroused – but don’t bring yourself to an edge. You just want to get turned on before starting anal play. 


Yo. We cannot stress this enough. YOU NEED A LOT OF LUBE. 

The anus is not self-lubricating. That means you need to bring a lubricant into the mix. Opt for thicker gel-like lubricants as these are best at clinging to the skin and toys. 

That said, you’ll want to lube up both the toy and your anus. 

If you are feeling friction or pain you should both, slow down and add more lube

#4 Insert a finger and/or put gentle pressure on the taint with your fingers 

Now, warm up the region with fingers and gentle pressure. 

(Top tip: Use lubed-up latex gloves for smooth finger play and fast clean up.)

Try inserting a clean finger and exploring with a come hither motion. If reaching around is hard, try broadly massaging the taint with one hand while slowly stroking the penis with the other.  

#5 Insert the toy slowly and listen to your body 

Ok, if everything has felt good so far. You’re ready to insert. 

With a lubricated anus and toy, gently coax the toy inside. Make sure the perineum stimulator is sitting on your taint (closest to your balls.) On our premium prostate massager, the perineum stimulator is customizable so you can enjoy the right pressure, fit, and angle. 

Listen to your body while doing this and DON’T force anything. When you’re an anal toy beginner you’ll need to take baby steps.

Tip: If inserting is difficult try adding more lube and twisting the toy as you insert. 

Once the toy is placed inside comfortably, turn it on to the lowest setting and try to sense if it’s placed well.

You’ll know when you’ve hit the spot. 

#6 Place, play, and go hands-free 

These pleasure products are meant to stay in place and offer hands-free stimulation. If you have a remote control prostate massager like BerryLemon’s Wake, then you are in for a hell of a hands-free orgasm. 

Once the prostate toy is inserted well, you have two free hands to do whatever you want. This is what makes anal toys so fun. Once they’re inserted, you’re free to have sex, masturbate, pleasure your partner, or just ride the wave with the massager remote control.

#7 Explore positioning

There’s no wrong way to position yourself while stimulating the prostate. While you explore you will find a position that feels just right. 

You can use a prostate toy while on all fours, lying across the lap of a partner, laying on your side with one leg up to your chest, or laying on your stomach with your bum in the air. Some also enjoy stimulation while standing. 

All positions are fair game. Explore what feels good. 

#7 Come again 

Unlike penile orgasms, there is no refractory period for prostate orgasms. So you can come again, and again and again. (It’s not just women who can enjoy multiple orgasms!) 

Climaxes when using a prostate massager are often described as “deeper” and “far stronger” than penile orgasms. It has been described as an orgasm that explodes from the inside out.  

Often you won’t ejaculate quite the same as you would after penile stimulation. Instead of ejaculating powerfully, you may find that a bit of semen slowly seeps out. (Hence the name “prostate milking.”) This is perfectly normal and to be expected. 

Awaken prostate pleasure with Wake, our premium remote-controlled prostate massager 

We hope our sex guide was helpful for you while you explore how to use a prostate massager. 

Remember (!!) use lube, listen to your body every step of the way, and take things slow. Breathe deeply into your stomach to enhance bodily sensations and to deepen your prostate orgasm. 

If you want exclusive discounts on Wake, our remote control prostate massager, simply sign up for our BerryLemon goodies newsletter. 

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