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Menopause is often described as the “big change.” It’s a time when women often experience decreased libido due to decreased estrogen.  Due to this hormonal change, post-menopausal women often cope with vaginal pain, itchiness, excessive dryness, and lowered clitoral sensitivity. Put these together and it’s far easier to understand why your significant other doesn’t always feel in the mood. But, these menopause tips for husbands (including the use of lube and toys) will provide you with the information you need to rekindle your love life. 

In this article, we’ll provide husbands everywhere a crash course in menopause and some top tips for navigating the big change. 

Understanding Sexual Desire & Menopause

The world would be a far more pleasant place if we all walked a mile in someone else's shoes. The first menopause tip for husbands is to get under the hood of menopause –what is it and how does it affect a woman’s life? This is a major change for a woman, one that a man will never experience. (And good on you for seeking out some top tips!) 

As a husband, an effort to understand can pay enormous dividends - and the return on your investment can be incredible, including some of the best sex of your life. 

It’s All About Estrogen

Estrogen is one of the most powerful hormones in the female body (your testes produce some as well, you lucky fish). For women, estrogen has a lot of heavy lifting to do. It is also responsible for growth and a variety of physiological functions. 

During and after menopause the ovaries reduce their production of estrogen - and that throws a woman’s body into panic mode. A lack of estrogen results in mood swings, hot flashes, fatigue, and physiological symptoms such as vaginal dryness, and discomfort. The change in hormones can even affect the brain, brain cells, cognition, and memory. 

To top it all off, many women complain of reduced clitoral sensitivity and difficulty with arousal and orgasm. 

Gentlemen - you have a hill to climb. 

But, if it is of any consolation, women remain sexual beings after menopause. Even though things are changing, women still get horny, and have sexual needs and desires. 

With a little know-how and menopause tips for husbands, you can keep the flame burning – and in some cases allow it to burn even hotter than it has in the past. 

So, what can you do to make sure that both you and your significant other continue to enjoy a vibrant, healthy, and mutually fulfilling sex life?

#1 Oodles of the Right Lubricant

✅ Menopause Top Tip For Husbands: For menopausal women, sex can be downright painful. Clear that hurdle with oodles of lubricant. 

Given that vaginal dryness, loss of vaginal elasticity, and lowered clitoral sensitivity are huge challenges for many postmenopausal women it’s obvious that a world-class lubricant is just what the doctor ordered. 

But before you start investing in industrial-size tubs of lube, there are a few things that you need to take into account to ensure that the lube that the two of you will be using is fit for purpose. 

Finding The Right Lube

The vagina and vulva can become an irritated place when you’re postmenopausal. This is why choosing a gentle, non-irritating lubricant is so important. Husbands, avoid alluring features like flavorings or those that are warming or ‘icy’ as they can be irritating. Go for Moisturizing, gel-like lubes. 

There are a number of formulations of lubricants. The most popular include silicone-based, and water-based lubes.

Silicone-based lubricant:

  • Super-slippery
  • Can damage high-quality silicone sex toys
  • Clean up can be very challenging
  • But it lasts a long time!

Water-based lubricant: 

  • Moisturizing, and ideal for postmenopausal play 
  • Closely mimics the body’s natural lubricants 
  • Often the most gentle option for sensitive skin
  • Safe for sex toy use, will not damage silicone sex toys


When choosing the ideal lubricant for postmenopausal sex, water-based lube is the ideal choice. It’s slippery and provides the natural sensations of the fluids women produce during sex. It’s also safe and kind to the body and will make the sex more rewarding for both partners.

BerryLemon has taken the needs of postmenopausal women into account when formulating our lubricants. If you are in search of a great water-based lubricant to reignite the passion then XOXO is a great choice. It's made with nourishing and mega-hydrating ingredients. (It's a great vulva moisturizer too!) 

#2 Treat her to Good Vibes

Menopause Top Tip For Husbands: Turn up the volume on clitoral stimulation. Focus here before ever moving to penetration. (Trust us!) 

Foreplay has never been more important than it is now, post-menopausal. Many menopausal women struggle with arousal and orgasm difficulties. If you want to keep the fires burning, this is when you pull in the big guns – clit stimulators

Remember this gentlemen, the low or difficult arousal is not about you, it’s about blood flow. 

When a woman enters menopause the natural blood flow to the uterus, ovaries, vulva, and vagina all begin to diminish. But blood flow is necessary for arousal and orgasm. This is why we love recommending air pulse suction vibes to menopausal women because it increases this blood flow almost instantly.

Read More: Best Sex Toys For Menopausal Women

Not to mention, for many couples who have been together for some time, sex can become stale. The addition of sex toys can spice up any relationship. Introducing a sex toy to the bedroom can bring back the passion that may have been lagging - and igniting passion is one of the keys to mind-blowing postmenopausal sex.



#3 Bring Back the Romance  

Menopause Top Tip For Husbands: Prioritize connection over all else. 

It’s easy to fall into a rut. Things can become stale and repetitive, and that’s not only in bed. They say that the most important sex organ both men and women possess is not below the belt - it’s between the ears.

Go that extra mile when it comes to romance. During the first few years of “the big change” your significant other may be feeling fragile and unsure of herself. Spend some time talking. Get spruced up. Enjoy a romantic meal (those candles are really great), and put on some romantic music.

You might be surprised at the results.

✅ Rapid Fire Menopause Top Tips For Husbands

Love and sex aside, let’s touch quickly on some golden menopause tips for loving husbands like you. 

  • DON’T take things too personally: If your wife is going through menopause, chances are her sexual changes, annoyance, irritability or distance is not about you. She's going through one of the biggest bodily changes of her life. It’s about hormones. 
  • Things level out: The beginning months (or years) of menopause can be brutal. But, thankfully the body is resilient, and some mood-related and hot-flashing symptoms even out or stop completely. 
  • Communicate and gently urge a doctor’s visit: Often many women feel shame and embarrassment about the changes they are experiencing and many do not seek help. Communicate with your gal and encourage them to talk to their doctor. 
  • Just listen: Sometimes women don't want solutions in the moment, sometimes they just need someone to hear them out. So listen up gents. 
  • Approach sex-related topics with care: Sex might be a touchy topic for some menopausal women due to body changes and challenges. So tread lightly and take their lead. 
  • Compliment her: When estrogen decreases in a female body so does the feeling of sexiness, attractiveness, and sensuality. (High estrogen makes you feel like you can take on the world.) She may very well be as gorgeous as ever, but she might not feel that way. So always remember to genuinely compliment her, with a peck on the cheek. It means the world. 


Menopause Tips for Husbands - Last Words

Marriage can be a rocky road, but it’s also filled with joy and wonder. If you’ve been in it for the long haul then menopause is just a part of that journey. It’s worth remembering that women going through menopause are not asexual - they still definitely have sexual appetites.

We’ve touched on menopause tips for husbands, but it’s worth repeating: the key to recapturing the passion is communication, and going that extra mile when it comes to patience and understanding. That said, throw some lube and a high-quality sex toy into the mix and see what new levels of intimacy begin to blossom. 


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