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Does Painful Sex During Menopause Go Away?

Does Painful Sex During Menopause Go Away?

When sex becomes painful during menopause, it can feel like your body has betrayed you. Maybe you're lying there afterward wondering what the hell happened, or avoiding intimacy altogether because you're dreading the discomfort. If that sounds familiar, you're definitely not alone.

Between 17% and 45% of menopausal women experience painful sex - that's nearly half of us dealing with this exact same thing. (The medical term is dyspareunia, but honestly, "painful sex" gets the point across just fine.)

Here's what I want you to know: this isn't permanent, it's not your fault, and there are real solutions that actually work. But first, you need to understand what's happening in your body and why sex suddenly feels so different.

The changes you're experiencing aren't just "in your head" or something you need to "push through." There are specific, treatable reasons why menopause makes sex uncomfortable - and once you understand them, you can do something about it.

What's Actually Going On Down There

Here's the deal - your body's going through some major changes as estrogen levels drop.

The doctors call it Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause, and it happens because your body's just not producing estrogen like it used to, causing a cascade of  often uncomfortable symptoms.

Read More: Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause: What Women Need to Know

Here's whats going on: 

Because of dipping estrogen your vaginal tissues get thinner, you're not producing as much natural lubrication as before, and everything's just less elastic and responsive than it used to be. (Plus, your vaginal pH levels and bladder function can start changing too.)

This all can make intimacy feel pretty uncomfortable or downright painful. 

So... Does It Ever Get Better?

If your painful sex is caused by vaginal atrophy (a very unpretty term) then no - this generally isn't something that just magically goes away on its own. It often may get progressively worse without intervention. 

But here's where it gets more nuanced: not all painful sex during menopause is pure vaginal atrophy. Some women experience temporary increased sensitivity, inflammation, or hormonal chaos during the early stages of menopause that can actually stabilize somewhat as their bodies adjust to new hormone levels. Think of it like your body going through a rough transition period before finding its new normal.

However - and this is crucial - you absolutely don't have to just live with the pain while waiting to see if you're in the "it gets better" category. DON'T even try to. Over a third of our lives happens after menopause, and there's no reason those years can't include amazing, pain-free sex.

Something that might feel counterintuitive: Regular sexual activity (including clitoral stimulation) actually helps prevent things from getting worse. It's kind of like exercise - it keeps blood flowing to all the right places, which helps keep your tissues healthy. Avoiding sex altogether can actually make things worse because those tissues get even thinner and less elastic. It's basically a "use it or lose it" situation, if you know what I mean.

Here's Some Tips On Getting Better

There are tons of ways to deal with painful sex after menopause. 

Lube & Moisturizers:

You may also try over the counter options like water-based lube to add slip, or vulva balms to soothe the area. You may also consider vitamin e vaginal suppositories. 

Foreplay is MAJOR:

Focusing on extra foreplay can also be really helpful. Going into penetration without being super aroused, is just not an option anymore. Focus on clitoral stimulation for a good while before moving into penetration. Even then, add lube and go slow. Stop if you're in pain--seriously! Adding vibrators to your partnered experiences might be helpful to bridge any gaps and make orgasms FAR easier.


Taking Penetration Off The Menu & Dilation Therapy:
You might also talk to your partner about taking penetrative sex off the table for a while and focusing on other means of pleasure. If you feel your vagina has lost some elasticity, you might consider dilator therapy. Its a gentle way of stretching those tissues gradually, making sex more enjoyable.

Learn More: How to Use Vaginal Dilators: A Complete Step-by-Step Guide

Vaginal Dilator Wellness Set

Non Hormonal Medications:
The FDA's approved several medications specifically for painful sex during menopause, including some non-hormone options like ospemifene and prasterone if you're worried about taking hormones.

Hormonal Treatments like HRT:
You might want to try topical estrogen, or maybe hormone therapy would work better for you. Your doctor can talk to you about all sorts of options.

Keeping the Spark Alive

The most important thing? Talk to your partner.

I know it may be awkward, but being open about what you're feeling makes such a huge difference. And remember - sex doesn't have to mean just one thing. There are so many ways to stay close and feel good together.

Learn More: Non-Penetrative Sex Ideas: Pleasure Beyond Traditional Norms

Take care of yourself down there regularly - use moisturizers, get good lubricants, and keep things gently active with a sexual wellness routine. BerryLemon's pleasure products are all made with really body-safe materials, which matters a lot when everything's more sensitive.

Bottom line? Yeah, painful sex during menopause is common, but you don't have to just put up with it. With the right help and support, you can absolutely keep enjoying an amazing sex life well into menopause and beyond. It might take some adjusting and trying new things, but you've got this. And you're definitely not in this alone.

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