Looking for ways to boost your libido during menopause? Let's talk about what actually works.
The key to increasing sex drive during menopause isn't just about managing or masking symptoms – it's about creating a sexual wellness routine that works with your body. In this guide, we'll explore science-backed solutions that go beyond basic advice, from understanding how desire works (little known facts) to building a complete pleasure toolkit that actually delivers results.
Whether you're dealing with decreased sensitivity, dryness, or just want to enhance your intimate wellness, you're about to discover why many women find their most satisfying sexual experiences during and after menopause.
Understanding How Desire Actually Works (Here’s The Secret)
Here's something most doctors won't tell you about libido: understanding how desire naturally works is key to maintaining it.
Research shows that 85% of women DO NOT experience “spontaneous desire” (that sudden urge/turn on for sex).
Instead, most women experience “responsive desire”, meaning they need more than just a sexy thought to "want" sex.
Many women have this desire-type their entire lives, but it can become even more exaggerated post-menopause. This is because decreased estrogen reduces blood flow to the vagina and vulva, making it harder for arousal to occur without direct stimulation.
❗Think of it like this: If you're waiting for sudden urges to have sex, you might be waiting a long time.
Instead, most women find their desire emerges in response to pleasure and arousal. During menopause, this means actively increasing blood flow through stimulation becomes crucial for awakening desire.
So the secret to increasing sex drive during menopause? Desire follows action - start with investing time in your pleasure and arousal, and your sex drive will follow.
Key Takeaways About Desire:
- Most women need more than sexy thoughts to feel desire
- Menopause decreases genital blood flow, making arousal more dependent on direct stimulation
- Context and environment matter significantly
- Creating the right conditions helps desire emerge
This understanding changes everything about boosting libido. Instead of waiting for desire to strike, you can actively create the conditions for it to emerge. This is exactly why having the right pleasure tools and wellness routine is so crucial during menopause.
Science-Backed Solutions for Boosting Sex Drive
Now that you understand how desire works, let's talk about practical solutions that actually increase libido during menopause.
The Power of Regular Pleasure Practice
Remember: desire follows action. Regular self-pleasure isn't just about fun - it's scientifically shown to:
- Increase natural lubrication (many deal with dryness)
- Improve blood flow to vaginal tissue (this boosts arousal and libido)
- Keep your libido active when hormone levels are changing
- Help you understand your body's new responses
Notice how these benefits directly address the main challenges of menopause?
❗❗Self-pleasure is like your body's natural antidote to menopause symptoms.
More Pleasure = More Desire - The Science of Self-Pleasure & Desire
Many women worry that self-pleasure might decrease their interest in partnered sex. But renowned sex therapist Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of "Becoming Cliterate," explains that research shows the opposite is true.
"There's a fascinating truth about female sexuality," Dr. Mintz explains. "The more pleasure you experience - including solo pleasure - the more desire you feel overall." This is called the complementary model of desire, and it's particularly relevant during menopause when maintaining regular arousal becomes crucial.
Think of it like exercise: the more you move, the more energy you have.
Similarly, regular self-pleasure:
- Increases overall sexual desire
- Maintains vaginal health
- Helps you understand your changing body's needs
- Makes partnered sex more enjoyable
This science-backed understanding is why self-pleasure should be viewed as an essential part of your sexual wellness routine, not something separate from or competing with partnered sex.
Beyond the Bedroom: 4 Lifestyle Factors That Matter
While pleasure activities are crucial, other factors can boost your results:
#1 Movement Matters
Exercise increases blood flow throughout your body - including your intimate areas. Even a daily walk can help boost overall arousal response and energy levels.
#2 Stress Less
High stress levels can block desire, no matter how much stimulation you receive. Finding ways to reduce stress - whether through meditation, yoga, or simply taking time for yourself - creates space for desire to emerge.
#3 Nourish Your Body
Certain foods can help improve blood flow and support sexual wellness:
- Leafy greens and beets (natural nitrates for blood flow)
- Healthy fats like omega-3s (mood and hormone support)
- Dark chocolate (blood flow and mood boost)
#4 Try Supplements
While diet is important, some natural supplements have shown promise in supporting libido:
- Maca root has been studied for its effects on sexual desire
- Ginkgo biloba may help with blood flow and arousal
- Saffron has shown positive effects on sexual function
- Red clover contains natural compounds that may help with menopause symptoms
Creating Your Sexual Wellness Routine to Boost Sex Drive
Now that you understand how desire works during menopause and why pleasure activities are crucial, let's create a routine that actually increases sex drive.
Remember: consistency is key for increasing sex drive during menopause.
❗❗Research shows that 10-20 minutes of focused stimulation, 2-3 times per week, provides the most significant benefits for boosting libido.
Think of this as your pleasure practice - just like any other wellness routine. Schedule time for yourself when you won't be interrupted. Start with gentle exploration and increase intensity as your body responds.
This practice alone will help boost your desire.
Essential Tools for Increasing Sex Drive During Menopause
Your body's needs change during menopause, and your pleasure tools should reflect that. Here's what actually works:
Powerful Stimulation Pleasure Tools
When it comes to increasing sex drive during menopause, having the right tools makes all the difference. Modern pleasure devices like air pulse stimulators provide the kind of powerful stimulation many women need after menopause.
Our Aura air pulse stimulator has become a favorite among menopausal women because it:
- Provides powerful clitoral stimulation when sensitivity decreases
- Immediately increases blood flow significantly
- When used regularly it helps maintain tissue health
- Makes regular pleasure practice easier and more enjoyable
- Increases orgasm potential and regularity
A verified reviewer of Aura said this recently:
“My libido took a nose-dive when I contracted an illness. During that time, I began to experience a phenomenon called "clitoral atrophy".
I lost so much of my [clitoral] sensation, which made receiving sexual pleasure feel futile.
The Aura has become a game changer for me as I reignite my sexuality & sensuality as a woman who is now in her perimenopausal years!”
-Isabella Beaulieu, Verified Reviewer on 11/17/2024
Quality Lubricant is Essential
Think of lubricant like skincare for your intimate areas - it's not optional during menopause.
The right lubricant doesn't just make stimulation comfortable; it makes it exceptional. Water-based lubricants are ideal as they match your body's natural pH and work perfectly with silicone pleasure tools.
❗❗No matter if you’re self pleasuring with your hands, a pleasure tool or if you are partnered, use lubricant!
Communicating With Partners About Sex Drive Changes
Increasing sex drive during menopause isn't just about solo activities - how you communicate with your partner plays a crucial role. Many women tell us their partners are relieved to finally have open conversations about sex and desire.
Having The Conversation
Start by sharing what you're learning about how desire works now. Explain that desire following arousal is normal - it's not about lack of attraction. Many couples find this understanding transforms their approach to intimacy.
Practical Tips for Partner Sex
Remember that secret about desire following action? This applies to partner sex too. Instead of waiting to feel "in the mood":
- Schedule intimate time (this isn't unromantic - it's smart)
- Start with touch and connection, letting arousal build naturally
- Share that you need more foreplay, foreplay, foreplay!
- Use your pleasure tools together - many couples find this adds excitement (!)
- Always use lubricant for comfort
- Take pressure off by focusing on pleasure, not performance
As one of our customers shared:
"Once I explained to my husband that I needed more warm-up time and introduced him to my Aura, our sex life actually got better than before menopause. He loves that I know exactly what works for my body now."
Addressing Common Emotional Stumbling Blocks to Desire
Arousal is complicated. Sometimes we might have an emotional “block” standing in our way of libido.
When working to increase sex drive during menopause, it's important to address relationship factors that might be blocking arousal:
- Built-up resentment about household duties
- Feeling unappreciated or taken for granted
- Unresolved conflicts that create emotional distance
- Body image concerns with a long-term partner
The key is recognizing these blocks and addressing them directly.
Sometimes simply naming the issue can help: "I find it hard to feel sexy when we're arguing about the dishes" opens the door to solutions.
Simply saying: “My body has changed and I need to verbally hear that you’re still attracted to me.” could open a flood of the affirmations you need to hear in order to relax into pleasure.
Or mentioning: “"My body needs more stimulation now to feel aroused. I'd like to introduce some pleasure tools to our bedroom - they could make sex more enjoyable for both of us."
❗Communication is everything.
Emotional intimacy and physical desire are DEEPLY connected. Taking steps to feel more connected emotionally often helps increase physical desire too.
Take Control of Your Sex Drive Today
Remember: increasing sex drive during menopause is possible when you understand how desire really works and have the right tools to support your body's changes.
Your sexual wellness toolkit should include:
- A powerful clitoral stimulator like Aura for maintaining blood flow and sensitivity while boosting pleasure
- Quality water-based lubricant for comfort and pleasure
- Daily moisturizing of vulva tissues if dealing with dryness
- Regular pleasure practice (10-20 minutes, 2-3 times weekly)
- Open communication with partners
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