Let's talk about sex after menopause – and I mean really talk about it.
If you're reading this, you might be wondering what's in store for your sex life during and after "the change." Maybe you've noticed some differences in your body, your desire, or your sexual response. Or perhaps you're approaching menopause and feeling concerned about what's ahead.
Here's what I want you to know right away: sex after menopause isn't just possible – for many women, it becomes the most passionate, pleasurable, and satisfying time of their lives.
Sure, things change. But change doesn't mean the end – it often means the beginning of something even better.
I've spent years talking with women about their sexual wellness, and I'll never forget what Gillian, 62, told me as part of our product tester group: "Nobody told me that post-menopause would be the best sex of my life. I finally know exactly what I want. I never thought I’d be exploring sex toys either but here I am! I just needed the right information and tools to deal with the physical changes."
This isn’t some rare success story – it’s what happens when women combine the right knowledge with the right tools.
That's exactly why I'm writing this guide. Because while medical websites will tell you about the biology (which we'll cover too, don't worry), there's so much more to the story.
We're going to talk about everything: the changes you might experience, the challenges you might face, and most importantly, the practical solutions that can make sex after menopause not just good, but even better than before.
Whether you're still in perimenopause, newly postmenopausal, or years into your journey, this guide is for you. We'll explore how to navigate the physical changes, reignite or maintain desire, and build a sexual wellness routine that works for your evolving body.
The Truth About Sex After Menopause
You've heard the myths. Maybe you've even started believing some of them. Let's set the record straight about what sex after menopause is really like.
Myth: "Everyone Stops Having Sex After Menopause" - Actually, No.
Here's a reality check: research shows that among women in intimate relationships, 70% of those aged 60-69 are sexually active. Even in their 70s, 57% of partnered women maintain active sex lives.
And perhaps most surprisingly? Many women report having the most satisfying sex of their lives during these years.
The numbers tell an important story: while sexual activity (or response) may change with age, it definitely doesn't disappear. Even more interesting is that research shows sexual satisfaction doesn't significantly decrease across age groups - meaning great sex isn't about age, it's about having the right mindset, knowledge and tools.
The Unexpected Benefits Nobody Talks About
While everyone's focused on what you might "lose" during menopause, let's talk about what you gain:
- Sexual Freedom: No more pregnancy worries means no more interruptions or anxiety. Many women find this incredibly liberating.
- Better Communication: By this age, you know what you want and how to ask for it. Our customers consistently tell us this leads to better, more satisfying encounters.
- More Time for Pleasure: With kids often grown and careers established, many women find they have more time and privacy to explore their sexuality.
- Confidence That Comes With Age There's something powerful about knowing yourself and your body. Many women tell us they feel more confident and less self-conscious about their desires at this stage of life. As one product tester put it: "In my 30s, I was always wondering if I was doing things 'right.' Now? I know what I want and I'm not afraid to ask for it."
Let's Address Your Concerns (Because We Know You Have Them)
"But what about..."
Vaginal Dryness? Completely manageable with the right tools. Modern lubricants and pleasure products are specifically designed for menopausal bodies. Don’t be shy about using a daily vaginal moisturizer or lubricant. Don’t just deal with the dryness, address it.
Decreased Desire? While hormone changes can affect libido, many women discover that desire works differently now – less spontaneous, more responsive, but equally satisfying. If you deal with lower libido a great piece of advice is to self-pleasure. Research shows, the more sexual pleasure you experience the more you desire it.
Pain During Sex? This is common but not inevitable. With the right preparation, tools, and techniques, sex should feel good, not painful. Definitely do NOT just deal with painful sex–read more about that here.
Loss of Sensitivity? Did you know that taking more time for arousal increases blood flow and actually increases sensitivity? Many women notice they need more intense stimulation than before - and that's completely normal. Think of it like turning up the volume: you might need more focused stimulation, stronger vibrations, and definitely more warm-up time.
This is exactly why pleasure tools like suction stimulators and powerful vibrators aren't just fun additions - they're essential parts of your sexual wellness routine.
The Real Truth?
The biggest obstacle to great sex after menopause isn't your body – it's taboos, outdated information and inadequate tools. That's why we're here.
In the next section, we'll break down exactly how to create a sexual wellness routine and how that will improve sex after menopause.
Creating Your Sexual Wellness Routine for Better Post-Menopausal Sex
What many doctors won't tell you is that maintaining regular sexual activity is one of the best ways to overcome common menopausal challenges. Think of it like physical therapy for your sexual wellness - the more consistently you practice, the better your body responds.
Why a Solo Practice is Essential After Menopause
Regular self-pleasure isn't just about fun (though that's a fantastic bonus) - it's scientifically shown to:
- Increase natural lubrication
- Improve blood flow to vaginal tissue
- Maintain vaginal elasticity
- Keep your libido active when hormone levels are changing
- Help you understand your body's new responses
Notice how these benefits directly address the main challenges of menopause? It's like your body's natural antidote to menopause symptoms.
While you can't prevent hormonal changes, regular pleasure activities actually help combat their effects on your sex life. Each time you engage in self-pleasure, you're essentially providing your body with a workout that maintains sexual wellness.
Starting Your Solo Practice
The best sexual wellness routine (and improving sex after menopause) starts with you. Solo exploration isn't just about pleasure, it's about maintaining vaginal health, increasing blood flow, and keeping your libido active.
Here's what a basic routine might look like:
- Set aside regular time for self-pleasure
- Start with gentle touch and gradually increase intensity
- Use lubricant every time (yes, even solo)
- Experiment with different types of stimulation
- Pay attention to what feels good now (it might be different than before)
Making Time for Pleasure (Even When You're "Not in the Mood")
Here's the secret: arousal often follows action.
One of the biggest changes after menopause is how desire works. That spontaneous urge might not hit like it used to - and that's perfectly normal. The key is understanding that desire often follows action at this stage of life.
Sometimes our mind (desire) has to catch up with our body (arousal).
So set time aside, and start with gentle stimulation, even if you're not feeling particularly aroused. Use a vibrator on its lowest setting or try a suction stimulator. The increased blood flow will actually help combat vaginal dryness and increase sensitivity, making partner sex more enjoyable too.
Partner Communication
If you have a partner, bring them into the conversation. Many women tell us their partners are relieved to finally talk openly about sex. Share what you're learning about your body. Show them what feels good. Make exploration part of your intimacy.
Tips for Success
- Start Slow: Don't rush to the finish line. Take time to warm up and build arousal.
- Mix It Up: Alternate between different types of stimulation:
- External stimulation with an air suction toy
- Internal massage with a curved vibrator
- Manual touch with plenty of lubricant
- Listen to Your Body: Some days you might want intense stimulation, others gentle touch. Both are perfectly normal.
Remember: this isn't about performing or meeting some standard - it's about discovering what brings you pleasure now.
Bringing This Back to Partnered Sex
Remember all those benefits we talked about from solo exploration? They directly translate to better partner sex. Here's how:
When you understand how your body responds now, you can better communicate your needs to your partner. Plus, that increased blood flow and maintained elasticity from regular self-pleasure means more comfortable and enjoyable partner sex.
Making Partner Sex Better Than Ever
- Start with Self-Knowledge: When you know what works for your body now (like needing more warm-up time or stronger stimulation), you can guide your partner confidently.
- Use Your Tools Together: Those pleasure tools we talked about? They're not just for solo time. Many couples find incorporating vibrators or suction stimulators adds an exciting new dimension to their intimacy.
- Take the Pressure Off: Remember how we said desire often follows action? The same applies to partner sex. Start with touch and connection, without the pressure of reaching orgasm. Let arousal build naturally.
Remember: great sex after menopause isn't about trying to recreate how things used to be. It's about exploring and enjoying how things are now - often with even more pleasure than before.
Build Yourself A Sexual Wellness Toolkit
Modern sexual wellness is about creating a complete pleasure toolkit that works for your body.
First Things First: Lubrication is Your Best Friend
Think of lubricant like a skincare product – but for your most intimate areas. Just like you wouldn't skip moisturizer for your face, lubricant isn't optional anymore. It's essential self-care.
The right lubricant doesn't just make sex comfortable; it makes it exceptional.
And no, we're not talking about those sticky drugstore options that dry out in minutes. Modern water-based lubricants are designed to feel natural and last longer. Water-based lubricants are also ideal for vaginal pH as it closely resembles our natural lubrication.
Vibrators: The most powerful sexual wellness tool
Your body might need more intensity than it used to - and that's exactly why modern pleasure tools are so revolutionary. These aren't “sex toys”; they're powerful pleasure tools engineered specifically for bodies that need/crave extra stimulation.
Why Suction Stimulators Are Perfect For Post-Menopausal Bodies
Suction stimulators offer the kind of powerful stimulation many women need after menopause, but in a way that's completely different from traditional vibrators. These devices use intense air pulse technology that:
- Delivers deep, powerful stimulation (when you need that extra oomph)
- Envelops the entire clitoris for deeper, more intense orgasms
- Increases blood flow significantly, which helps with sensitivity
- Lets you control the intensity (from gentle to powerful)
The #1 Air Pulse Vibrator
Aura, our best-selling suction stimulator has become the top choice among our post-menopausal customers because it was designed with your changing needs in mind.
As Jane, an Aura reviewer shared with us: "Literally life changing for me! After never having achieved an orgasm in my life this beautiful toy has changed everything for me! So happy and grateful 🙏🏼"
And Jane isn't alone. We regularly hear from women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond who discover new levels of pleasure they never thought possible.
Your Sexual Future is Bright
You have the knowledge and tools to explore what sex after menopause means for your body. Remember: your sexuality doesn't have an expiration date, and with the right tools and techniques, many women discover their best sex lives after menopause.
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