In this BerryLemon sex guide, a certified sexologist shares exactly how to use a strapless strap on.
So you want to try something new… but you’re not sure how to use a strapless strap-on. They are often used by lesbian couples, non-binary folks, and cis-hetero pairings alike because they are so versatile in their uses.
They can be used for gender affirmation, vaginal penetration, pegging, or solo use. Strapless strap-ons are for anyone curious, so let’s take a look at how strapless strap-ons are different from traditional strap-ons and how to use one.
Hey look, no straps!
First off, how is a strapless strap-on different from other strap-ons? As you may have guessed, strapless strap-ons don’t have straps or harnesses like traditional strap-ons.
When worn, part of the strapless strap-on is inserted into the vagina of the person wearing it (sometimes referred to as the bulb) and the other part is meant to penetrate another person, vaginally or anally.
The whole point of strapless strap-ons is to remove the need for straps and harnesses because the toy stays in place by way of the pelvic floor muscles.
Benefits of strapless strap-ons
- Simultaneous penetration (aka pleasure for both partners at the same time!)
- Alleviate discomfort brought on by harnesses (often on the mons pubis, or mound above the vulva)
- Less ‘equipment’ to carry around, clean, and maintain
- They vary in size, vibration, shape, etc.
- Gender-affirming
Step-by-Step Guide: How To Use A Strapless Strap On
Following step-by-step instructions might seem a bit ‘un-sexy,’ but they do answer your burning question, how to use a strapless strap-on.
Preparing to use a strapless strap-on:
#1 Buy Your New Strapless Strap-On (and some compatible lubricant!)
Congrats on deciding to embark on the journey of using a strapless strap-on! When purchasing your strapless strap-on, consider size, shape, function, and even color if that matters to you.
I love the design, and flexibility of Sage, the strapless strap on by BerryLemon.
When you’re selecting your lubricant, keep in mind that with silicone toys, you should use water-based lubricants. Don’t use oil or silicone-based lubricants as they will degrade the toy’s materials.
#2 Talk with your partner(s) to establish your boundaries using your new toy
Whether you are trying something completely new or revisiting a favorite sexy activity, checking in beforehand to reestablish boundaries is a must… plus it’s an opportunity to fantasize together and build anticipation.
#3 Clean & charge toy
The first thing you have to do after opening your toy (after gushing over it and doing a happy dance out of excitement) is to clean it according to the instructions on the packaging or website.
Many strapless strap-ons are made of silicone which is best cleaned with a toy cleaner (or mild unscented soap) and water. You can pat dry with a cotton cloth (or a clean cotton tee shirt) or let them air dry. Your toy might have specific instructions, though, so check the package!
Next, charge your toy. Some toys can take a few hours to fully charge, so check the manual for the specifics of yours.
#4 Get to know your toy
Getting to know all the functions and intricacies of your new toy can help eliminate clumsiness and confusion when you’re hot and heavy and ‘in the moment.’ You won’t need to play around with buttons if you already know which settings you like and how to make your toy work. You may even want to try out your toy solo before diving into partnered use. This way you have an idea of what it feels like and how it fits your body.
Using your strapless strap-on:
Now, let's get into the good stuff ;)
#1 Create a good mood and atmosphere
There may be some nerves regarding using a new toy or trying a new act – light a candle, turn on your favorite sexy time tunes and get caught up in the mood lighting and the moment.
#2 Warm up your body
You prepped your toy, now prep your body with plenty of lube and non-penetrative activities.
#3 Go for it!
The wearer should insert the bulb and enjoy. There could be a period of adjustment when it comes to using a strapless strap-on, so be patient, and feel things out.
Consider your positioning
Since we’re learning how to go strapless, you have to consider gravity's role here. It's a good idea to consider the positions you and your partner will be in. Since gravity could be working against you (without the strap) ease of use is all in positioning.
To ease your first time wearing a strapless strap-on try cowgirl (with one partner riding on top), or spooning (approaching each other from the side). These positions will rely less on your pelvic floor muscles.
Troubleshooting the strapless strap-on: "It keeps falling out!"
This is the primary complaint or challenge to using strapless strap-ons. Here are a handful of solutions for how to use a strapless strap-on if it keeps falling out:
- Try a different position that puts gravity in your favor. Doggystyle and missionary rely heavily on the pelvic strength of the wearer, so try cowgirl or spooning.
- The bulb might be too small for the person wearing the strapless strap-on. Consider a larger one.
- If you can and it’s comfortable, use a bit less lube.
- Strengthen your pelvic floor muscles (but talk to a healthcare professional first as these exercises aren’t for everyone).
- Add a harness of some sort. This might feel like it defeats the purpose but, both of you still benefit from the fun features of strapless strap-ons, plus some extra support.
