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If you’re seeking sex aids after menopause, you're not alone. Sex post-menopause can be tricky; there are no two ways about it. But a few speed bumps don’t mean your passionate sex life is over–far from it actually. 

What you’re going through right now is a re-adjustment period. Finding the right sex aids is just a matter of finding the right accommodations for a changing body. We don’t throw in the towel, we realign. 

In this article, we’ll address common bedroom challenges shared among post-menopausal women and introduce you to the sex aids that might help. 

The top 4 bedroom challenges among menopausal women 

Studies show that 70% of post-menopausal women experience sexual difficulties to some degree. These challenges can seriously alter someone’s sex life and desire for sexual connection.

Some women report avoiding sexual encounters altogether to dodge the uncomfortable and sometimes painful vaginal symptoms.

Unfortunately, uncomfortable symptoms are very common. In fact, some 32 million other post-menopausal women are dealing with the same challenges right now

Keep reading and take note if you experience any symptoms that could be hindering your sex life. 

And don’t worry, these all have solutions, my friend. 

#1 Vaginal dryness (plus why it happens)

Studies report that 50 to 70 percent of post menopausal women suffer from vaginal dryness symptoms. However, only 20% seek treatment. This isn’t a problem you want to ignore as it may only get worse over time. 

Post-menopausal vaginal dryness is commonly caused by a dip in the female sex hormone estrogen and vaginal blood flow. Natural lubrication production slows down as a result, thus making penetration unenjoyable and downright painful.

Prior to menopause, ease of vaginal blood flow kept the vaginal tissue supple, moisturized, and elastic, especially during arousal. 

Estrogen plays a role in sending blood flow to the vulva, vagina, and clitoris which preempts natural arousal fluid.  

#2 Lack of vaginal elasticity

Without moisture, the vaginal tissues can begin to thin, and become inflexible. With ample natural lubrication and vaginal blood flow, the tissues can easily stretch to accommodate a partner, but without this, the tissues can become brittle and may even tear. 

If you experience pain during sex, vaginal dryness, and vaginal inelasticity are likely culprits. 

#3 Lack of sensitivity due to low vaginal blood flow

Some women find that sex becomes less enjoyable because stimulation doesn’t feel as good as it used to. And you’re not making this up. Post-menopause, you may experience a lack of genital sensitivity. 

This, again, comes back to a lack of blood flow to the area. 

Ideally, when you’re aroused and desire sex, your body reacts to brain signals by sending blood flow to the genitals. This blood flow makes you very sensitive to stimulation. 

But, even if you mentally desire sex, physically, your body may not be responding with enough genital blood flow to experience the level of “feel-good” you’re used to. 

#4 Low arousal due to low vaginal blood flow

This is related to the last point. Post-menopause, you may experience less arousal than you used to. The familiar downstairs fluttering, or the excitement-flushing of the cheeks may slowly fade away. 

At any age, without arousal, sex is just not enjoyable. 

The female body and female orgasm require the arousal of the mind and body. In order to achieve this, your body needs to respond to arousal of the mind, by sending blood flow to the genitals. Which as we know, maybe challenging after menopause. 

Most challenges come back to blood flow

While menopausal bedroom challenges may seem complicated (hormones are complicated) a simplified root issue is a lack of vaginal blood flow. 

Keep this in mind as we explore sex aids for menopause. The aids may surprise you. 

Having infrequent sex is normal, but what if you desire more intimacy?

As we age, sex becomes less and less frequent. This is normal, and perfectly healthy for a lot of older couples. 

But you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t desire more for your sex life. 

What do you do when you desire more pleasure, sex, and intimacy but your body throws up roadblocks? 

You learn (you’re doing that right now!) and you adjust. 

The top 5 sex aids that can help menopausal women 

Now that we’re clear on what may be going on challenge-wise, let’s explore the solutions.  

Here are 5 sex aids, perfect for after menopause. 

#1 Arousal oils & creams

Formulations vary but the goal of arousal creams is to dilate the blood vessels in a targeted area. When you apply these creams topically to the clitoris, blood flow increases and thus, arousal too. 

These products are also known as scream creams, or “O” creams, for obvious reasons. An arousal cream might help get your fire started. 

As a sex aid for menopause, apply an arousal cream to your vulva (not internally) 20-30 minutes before foreplay, vibrator use, or sex.  

#2 Therapeutic use of clitoral vibrators 

Ah, the magic of vibration. 

Sex toys and vibrators are not only deeply pleasurable but they are now becoming recognized for their therapeutic effects

Studies have found that the regular use of vibrators can decrease symptoms of menopause. (!!) They are ultimate sex aid after menopause as they help address so many challenges. 

On any part of the body, surface vibration increases blood flow to the area. When you use a clitoral vibrator on a regular basis, this sends blood flow to the area, boosting natural lubrication, arousal, and blood flow.


The saying goes, “use it or lose it.” And this silly saying often rings true when it comes to vaginal health. In order to experience elastic and moisturized tissue, reactive arousal, and genital sensitivity – you have to pay regular attention to the area. 

Vibrators are a joyful solution to an age-old problem. 

#3 Hormone-free moisturizing oils & creams

Consider moisturizing your vulva and vagina in the same way you’d moisturize your arms or legs. Because now, it’s a part of your body that needs a little extra moisturization help. 

There are internal and external moisturizers that can help. Consider using a moisturizing suppository and a vulva moisturizer cream or oil. 

Look for products that contain vitamin E and hyaluronic acid. You could even try all-natural oils like coconut oil which has been proven to be an effective and safe vulva moisturizer. 

Vaginal moisturization can do wonders when it comes to sex after menopause. 


#4 Personal lubricants as a sex aid after menopause

No one wants friction during penetration. NO ONE. (Ugh it feels like an internal sunburn!) Personal lubricants are amazing for ladies of all ages. 

Adding the slip and slide of a personal lubricant can seriously enhance your sex after menopause. 

You can apply lubricants to your vulva, your partner's penis, or any insertable sex toy. 

Opt for water-based lubricants when using silicone sex toys or latex condoms. Oil-based lubricants tend to last a little longer on the skin but shouldn’t be used with silicone sex toys. 

Adding a little lube is a cheap, and easy solution.

#5 Foreplay-focused intimacy as a sex aid

I take it this isn’t your first rodeo; you know what good sex is. But, studies show that women consistently want more foreplay during partnered sex. Sometimes men want to jump right into penetration. 

But foreplay has never been more important than it is right now.

When it comes to sex after menopause–DO NOT jump right into penetration. 

Sometimes, when a woman is not enjoying sex, or penetration is painful, it's due to a lack of arousal and a lack of foreplay. This is true at any age, but it only gets exaggerated with time as the need to foreplay and arousal become more and more important.

An easy sex aid after menopause is simply investing more and more time in foreplay and arousal. The female orgasm is dependent on arousal. And when you're post-menopausal you’ll need more time to get there. 

Pull out all the stops here, try your arousal cream, lubricant, and a vibrator. And then, give yourself time to respond to these things. 

Adding a vibrator to your partnered foreplay can be a lot of fun and a very effective sex aid. Have your partner use a vibrator on you to get your engines going.

To warm up to penetration, reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation firstThen, after that, with an addition of lube, penetration just might feel wonderful again 

Utilize oral play, couples vibrators, suction vibrators, nipple play, and more. 

Summary: Sex aids after menopause

For post-menopausal women hoping to enhance their sex, consider arousal creams, vaginal and vulva moisturization, lubricant, extended foreplay, and clitoral vibrators. 

These simple yet effective interventions may very well revolutionize your sex life.  

At BerryLemon we value life-long sexual wellness and empowering sex education. We offer premium sex toys for people from all walks of life.

We believe vibrators are more than sex toys, they are sexual wellness tools, and for menopausal women, powerful sex aids.  

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