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13 Must-Read Sexuality Books: Sex Guides, Sex Science & Sexual Identity

13 Must-Read Sexuality Books: Sex Guides, Sex Science & Sexual Identity

Doesn’t matter if you’re hoping to freshen up your skills in the bedroom or give yourself the sex education you wish you’d had -- these sexuality books can help get you there. 

Most of us never received an *actual* sex education (since fumbling around in the dark hoping to “do it right” doesn’t count.) 

But hey, there’s no time like the present. 

If you want to learn more about sex -- consider these awesome sexuality books. 

This list of books on sexuality is in no way an exhaustive and we hope to continue to create more resource lists just like this one. 

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski 

This is the book that taught millions that THEY ARE NOT BROKEN. Whether it’s the way their genitals look or how they respond to sexual advances researcher, Emily Nagoski demystifies sex science through her beautifully empathic perspective. Countless experts claim they can “transform your sex life” but this book actually delivers. If you want a myth-busting, science-based, and world-altering understanding of human sexuality -- read this book. 

Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters by Laurie Mintz

Author Dr. Laurie Mintz tackles the topic of orgasm hap and how we can close it. According to Dr. Mintz, 50 percent of cis women have trouble reaching orgasm during partnered sex. Becoming Cliterate illustrates why this gap exists, and details proven “Cliterate” techniques to help bridge the gap. 

All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life by Gigi Engle  

The modern feminist guide to a sexy af life. In All the F*cking Mistakes Gigi Engle serves as your sex-positive big sis, demystifying sex with her no-bullshit casual tone. This book is was written as an empowering guide to modern sex in a slut-shaming world. 

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib  

“How do you find yourself when the world tells you that you don't exist?” An incredible read about a queer Muslim woman and her courage to stand in her selfhood. After growing up in Pakistan Samra moved to Canada as a refugee and she dealt with racism, homophobia, arranged marriages, and the task of feminine obedience within patriarchal structures. In this authentic and heartfelt memoir, Samra depicts her plight, courage, and pursuit of freedom in her queer Muslim experience. 

Better Sex through Mindfulness by Lori A. Brotto, PhD

Mindfulness is not only stress-relieving but according to sex researcher Lisa Brotto, it’s also been proven to enhance your sexual desire and orgasmic potential. For anyone wanting to get the most out of their sex life, or for those struggling with orgasm or desire -- this mind, body, spirit approach may be a game-changer. This gem of a sexuality book is recommended often by sex therapists to help enrich sex lives. 

The Sweetness of Venus: A History of the Clitoris by Sarah Chadwick

This book is for anyone with a vulva “or anyone who has the opportunity to engage with one." The Sweetness of Venus depicts the long history of the often misunderstood and at times brutalized cis female anatomy. This thoroughly researched book answers all the questions (and more) you've ever had about the vulva in a witty and intelligent manner. It’s a must-have for your sexuality book section. 

Queer Sex: A Trans and Non-Binary Guide to Intimacy, Pleasure, and Relationships by Juno Roche

Transgender activist Juno Roche penned this poignant glimpse into the intimate relationships of trans and non-binary folk. The book is full of honest interviews that offer an insightful and groundbreaking account of the trans perspective. The MTF author recounts her own evolving relationship with her sexuality post-transition. This book is less of a sex “guide” and more of a deeply moving account of human gender and sexuality.  

Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman

The prostate, aka the male g-spot, is an area of immense pleasure. But it’s also a bit taboo. Those who are not tapping into this intense pleasure play are missing out. This informative and easy-to-follow guide to prostate pleasure is perfect for anyone looking to broaden their horizons solo or coupled. It’s time we stop ignoring our full orgasmic potential and try some prostate play already. 

Trans Sex Zine by various authors

This one-of-a-kind digital resource is an ever-evolving guide all about sex and relationships as a trans person. This digital zine is written by a collective of 26 trans and gender non-conforming folks that span the gender spectrum and the globe. There are stories of desire, lust, love, and identity. At the time of publishing this list, there are two volumes of the Trans Sex Zine available for digital download. 

The Wild Woman’s Way by Michaela Boehm

This sex expert’s incredible book, Wild Woman’s Way, hopes to coax your most intuitive and authentic self out from the shadows with the wisdom and ritual of the Wild Woman archetype. This book serves as a guiding light for those who want to revolutionize their connection to their innate self, their sacred sensual bodies, and their loved ones. This book outlines experimental rituals, exercises, and explorations of self to follow at your own pace. Re-wild yourself with this must-have sexuality book.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner

She Comes First is the unofficial official guide to giving great cunnilingus. This book guides readers through everything they need to know about getting a woman off -- this is a man who is certainly cliterate. Written by sex therapist Ian Kerner, this guide to pleasuring women is giving men and women everywhere a practical cunnilingus masterclass. A very proud Amazon reviewer says “My girlfriend gives it a gasping 5 stars.”

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel

In Mating in Captivity Esther Perel distills her 20 plus years of experience as a sex and relationships therapist. The book discusses keeping sexual desire alive in long-term relationships. Keeping your bedroom erotic, exciting and spicy is a struggle for millions. This book offers a thought-provoking and bold new take on intimacy “in captivity”. 

The Hite Report: A National Study of Female Sexuality by Shere Hite 

This book gave the nation its first look at a nationwide study of female sexuality. Originally published in 1976 during the "sexual revolution" this book is still a great read for the modern cis female. Written by trailblazing feminist sex researcher Shere Hite, this report is still considered mandatory reading by many. Even 45 years later it answers age-old questions and offers a great foundational understanding of female sexuality. The decades of sex researchers that followed behind Hite expanded on the groundbreaking work she did in the 70s.

Modern sex education should be science-based & inclusive 

Plenty of us either had no sex education, or we were exposed to very very limited information. But the education you deserve is modern, inclusive, and shame-free. We hope to continue to add to this list to keep it up to date and useful.